I love who I am because of all of it..
for those of you who like to read
|—||One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (via thenewzeitgeist)|
There are days and moments when all disappearus under a layer of pain and sorrow. the city of Pompej must have felt like this after Vesuvius, seemingly out of the blue, covered it in fire and ashes, suffocating every living thing.
When it happens, it feels like life will never be the same, life will simply stop. The hurt seems unbearable.
This pain and sorrow does not come from the inside, but it is a reaction to what people do. Particulally people who are close. They have the gift to hurt because there are hardly any walls of defence there , why should I be on guard toward those I love.
What remains ? How to go on? Every person is an island - a solitary one - for ever?
I am surprised at the regenerative abilities of the soul. One day there is again the tentative “reaching out”, growing trust and love brushes off the last bits of soot.
I wait for the moment when all will remain dead. Then , finally, there will be peace.
It could be that this peace will coincide with the end of this life. Then, please, spare me of people weeping at my grave. I want to live on in the hearts of my friends.
Those who were not caring or oblivious to my needs while I lived, those who walked all over my heart with nailed boots whilst it was beating… don´t come to my funeral. Don´t shed one tear. I despise hypocrisy.